Monday, October 31, 2011

A Sunday Stroll, A Walk With God: Part 2

And so the stroll begins!

Deep sighs as I start to think of all the questions swimming around in my head.  

What is my life to be like?

Where am I to live (it's time to move from Jersey)?

How can I afford it with what I am currently making?

How can I run my business if I have to take on another job on top of my current job...that would be 3 jobs???

Why am I not worth more?

Is this all I am to make?

Why can't I have a nice home, in the city I love, with working appliances, a kitchen I can use, and a peaceful surrounding???

How do I take the next step?

What is the next step?

Why do I have this skill if I am not meant to flourish with it?

Why am I so driven?

Why? Why? Why???

I imagine God takes a deep sigh, swallows a giggle as he listens to these truly deep felt questions.  They are very real concerns and as a human I just don't have the answers.

All I know is that I don't think I am wanting too much for my life but I do think/know I DO want more!!! And I am absolutely worth it all!

So I breath, and step into NYC and head towards the park.  I feel so good on this island, so at home...why am I not here?  Why can I not afford to live here? That seems crazy...millions of people live here there must be a space for me...I truly believe there is!!! 

I ask for a new journal (when I am feeling like this I need a fresh book to start a fresh outlook)...but no bookstores along the way??  And then...the Folk Art Museum shows up and in their gift store I happen to find just what I need...a little book of blank pages with a cover picture of a monkey holding a rose with a butterfly on top! So fitting...(I am the year of the monkey, my business is making rose hats, and do you remember before I left Maui...the whole butterfly story feeling like a Caterpillar in the cocoon but then coming out the Butterfly that flew all the way towards Her Dream!?!?)  Well, I do!  And this little book was less than $5...SOLD!!!

I turned the corner and strolled straight to the park where I came across this site!

 Autumn in New York, SNOW in Central Park...Dreamy!!!

As I stroll my over whelming feeling is pure joy!  I am SO happy I am here, now, able to see, feel, experience THIS!!!  

THIS IS why I came...because I have always wanted to experience this.  Then God shows me his art.





I am filled with gratitude that this IS my home and I get to be here any time I want and this experience is for me!

I feel a sense of comfort as I leave the beauty and nest of Central Park and head down my familiar Fifth Ave.

I walk past Bendel's and think...I won't or will I ever be in this store???  I know that God has something even more amazing in store for my business...more amazing than Bendel's???  WOW...I look forward.

I feel blessed and rather satisfied but not completely fulfilled with all my ponderings.  I know that TRUST is the answer so I keep walking.

I then find myself in front of a huge and beautiful classic NY church.  Saint Thomas Church on Fifth Ave.

Oh how I wanted to go to church today but 11 am in the village is hard to reach from Jersey City.  I wish I could just go inside and pray.

And then...God answers that prayer!!!  At 5:30pm that eve there was to be an organ concert...what time is it I wonder???  5:09pm!!!  I head in.

O.M.GOODNESS!!!  This church is even MORE amazing on the inside!!!

I find a spot, settle in, pray a prayer of gratitude for what I am experiencing and then am blown away as the organ starts...the organ that is over a story high!!!

I pull out my new blank book and pick up a hymnal.  I start to read hymns as the organ concert proceeds.  And then I start realizing that God is speaking directly to me through these hymns.  These are the following messages I received, gratefully:

Sometimes I feel discouraged
and think my works in vain, 
but then the Holy Spirit 
revives my soul again.  
If you can not preach like Peter,
if you can not pray like Paul,
you CAN tell the love of Jesus
and say "He died for all."

Teach me my God and King,
in all things to see,
and what I do in anything,
to do it as for thee.

Almighty God your word is cast
like seed upon the ground.
Now let the dew of heaven descend
and righteous fruits abound.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
the clouds ye so much dread
are big with mercy and shall break
in BLESSINGS on your head

His purposes will ripen fast unfolding every hour,
the bud may have a bitter taste but sweet will be the flower.

Word of God come down on earth 
Living rain from heaven descending
Touch our hearts and bring to birth
Faith and Hope and Love unending.


If thou but trust God to guide thee
and hope in him through all the ways
he'll give thee strength 
whatsoever betide thee


NOW...yes these are truly old school hymns but WOW oh WOW how poignant the timing and the message to me and my personal trial.  This final one really says it all and I left the church, the moment, completely satisified with the answer I received.  

Read on...you'll see!

How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord
is laid for your faith in his excellent word
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
to you that for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not, I AM with thee; O be not dismayed!"
For I am thy God, and will give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand
upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
the rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
for I WILL be with thee, thy troubles to bless
and sanctify to thee the deepest distress."

When fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
my grace all sufficient shall be thy supply
the flame shall not hurt thee I only design
thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.


AMEN!!!

I hope this has been a blessing to you.  It has richly blessed me.  I still don't have ever answer but I do know I am absolutely on the right path, going in the correct direction and refined to be the very best I am put on this earth to be.

Be blessed this week and watch for the voice of God as you are guided in each and every step.  Taking a moment to sit back and reflect on this presence has made the most amazing difference.

Happy Autumn!!!

2 comments:

  1. Katherine, your Mom is blessed just reading your blessings! Each new day will always be a challenge but you know that He promises that His mercies and NEW every morning and they are there for His dear ones...that you and me...love, Mom

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  2. And that it worth it all to know that you are blessed by this. You are so right NEW every morning. I love you so much. xoxoox

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