Wednesday, July 4, 2012

My "AHA" Moment!!! AHA!!!!!

I ask you to take the 4 min. to truly watch this clip of Adele singing at the Grammy's last year....having already won several trophies (and more to come through out the eve)...of course the song and She, Herself, are quite beautiful but what really caught me, grasped me, and made me say YES!!! was at the very end.

The song ends, the applause begins, you see the crowd and she smiles, waves hello and right before the clip is done you see her TRULY REALIZE, truly be fully present in the adoration of Her Dream Come True.

You see her look out amongst the sea of famous and historical legends, the crowds above, and there she is...soaking in their adoration and being truly clear in the awareness that She Has Reached This Goal.

It's simply beautiful to me. 

This is exactly what I want
.  I want to be FULLY and COMPLETELY AWARE  that I have reached my goal, that My Dream has indeed come true.

I look back at this amazing year I've had and there has been no applause, no moment.  Just lots of "quick" get-back-to-the-next-thing.  I think of the Mary Poppins gig I took part in and how this was a PINNACLE of my career...4 hats I adorned, dancing on the stage of a National Broadway Tour...I worked a straight 27 hours w/a 4 hour sleep break to meet the deadline given to me, sat on a train for over an hour to deliver the hats, delivered them on time, got back on train and sat over an hour again to get home...and then went back to work.

No Moment.  No ceremony.  I haven't even seen the show.  (I sent my Mom and this feels good)...but I, the one whose actual dream it was to make hats for a Broadway show didn't receive tickets, didn't even treat herself to a ticket.  I reached this goal and didn't truly acknowledge the AMAZINGNESS of reaching it.  I knew the amazingness but I didn't get to soak in it...whatsoever.

This realization is not meant to be a downer or a pity party.  I have realized something genuine and ultimately SO IMPORTANT for me...I want the stage.  I want the moment.  I want the feeling that I am living my dream and I want it with ALL MY SOUL.

I want to take the time after each precious detail and each thought out and precise step to be present and soak in the adoration of Living My Dream.

So grateful to discover this.  SO SO grateful.

Now go watch the clip and see if you can "Spot" The Moment!!!  Brava Adele!!! Brava!!!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Pushmi-Pullyu...More Like Push Me...Pull Me!

Remember the Pushmi-Pullyu???  Dr. Doolittle???  The Creature with Two Heads but the only way it could function is to work together?!  Aaaaah yes...this would be a wonderful example but it is not really why I chose the title.

Mostly I chose it because at this late night hour I feel like I have pushed and pushed and then pushed just a little bit more and as of tonight...I have finally worked with my heart and my brain (working together)and decided what to do.  

What ever I feel like in the moment!

Hooray!  Cheers!!!  Brava!!!

I am Officially 1 Month away from a Most-Looking-Forward-To Vacation!!!

But that doesn't mean this month isn't any fun whilst I wait!  

So far I have had the pleasure of seeing my long time friend Ms. Holly, featured below in her Brand New Chapeau!

We then met up and went to The Mothership...The Metropolitan Museum of Art to especially see the
Elsa Schiaparelli and Miuccia Prada’s Impossible Conversations at Metropolitan Museum’s Costume Institute
May 10–August 19, 2012

And then for some Inspired Creativity!  

A Chapeau for My Dear Friend and Most Trusted Mentor/Dream Confidante, Jenni P Parker Brown, Dream Warrior ExtraOrdinaire

I am more than thrilled with how this Chapeau Deluxe turned out!  Supple alabaster felt, taupe-ish grey satin, and a wee bit of lavender felt...scrumptious!

In 2 weeks My Dearest Sarah arrives for a jaunt in le city!

 I will be commencing my vacation a wee bit early (hooray! yahoo! brava!) with Sarah here in NYC!  We will be staying in a funky art hotel in Kip's Bay with plans to go up the Empire State Building, obviously Central Park, Chinatown, Garment District...and FOR SURE The Prada/Schiaparelli exhibit!!!

Etc., etc. xoxoxo

Then back into the shop for one more solid week of....
But I will be Dreaming of this:

doing absolutely nothing besides gazing into the sea
visiting my dear pals Pokee and Buddy xoxox
and Haley xoxo
 I AM READY!!!!!

 And now I am Living IT!!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Cool Down


The pause of reflection.

Deep breath.

Wisdom joined me yesterday and while I did indeed feel the burn of melancholy, I have relaxed into the bliss of making Wise Decisions.

Yes, it is true...the production end of my business will be taking the summer off.  But really why not?  It's HOT in breezes, I am not completely set up in my studio yet with the necessary tools needed to produce with ease and precision...Oh!  And my calendar is FULL!

Wisdom always brings Blessing.  I am indeed Blessed.

For the first time, in a long time, I am going to be enjoying the beauty of an actual vacation.  No work involved just R & R.  (aaaaaah reminds me of my Montauk Retreat last winter....oh how I loved that!)

In the past I have always combined trips with some sort of business, whether I am making hats while on the trip or likely putting on events to sell my wares.  What a Blessing to be able to concentrate on the real purpose of this upcoming trip to my Island Home of Maui.

Reflection, Renewal, Reuniting, Refreshment.

By making the hard decisions (which yesterday's was), I have lifted the burden of "attempt" off of my back and given myself the Gift of A Well Deserved Break!

So...yes, I shed some tears (Release), then after I had cleared the fog over my eyes I saw the Clarity of My Wisdom and what the Blessing is and today I woke up refreshed, ready to head back to Barbara's studio, ready to jump into the shop production and happy that when the day is done...SO AM I!!!

How Blessedly Normal!

I received some genuine words of grace and comfort yesterday from some of my readers and friends.  I Thank YOU SO MUCH!!!

In the depths of my moment I was encouraged and guided towards what I was having a difficult time seeing.


Have a Beautiful Day!  That's My Plan!

That and enjoying the air conditioned train rides to work!  

Ciao Bella's!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Marathonia ~ Chapter Two ~ End of Book


You either have it...or you don't.  You can try and eat it or drink it but even doing this...Energy chooses to truly stay with you or not.

Today, Tuesday, May 29th, I had a chat with My Energy.  I ate healthy foods, drank heaps of water, moved my body, even had a delicious strong espresso.  I asked My Energy to show itself for I had High Hopes this season.

I had hopes of having new chapeaux in a Hair show at a local salon (though I wasn't too attached to this), and even more hopes of having a Hat Show while on Maui during my upcoming trip in July.  I wanted to be able to offer to my former homeland the newest styles I have been so diligently working on.  Blocked hats.  Hats I have never made before in my career and I wanted to give my clientele on Maui this opportunity to see what I have been doing in person.

I took a healthy day OFF for Memorial Day, had a beautiful day in Central Park.

I mean really!!!  A Beautiful Day!!!

Enjoyed a lovely lunch with my friend Kim and her poochie, Pookie, had a wonderful stroll along the pond, had a very interesting conversation in the little boathouse with a woman named Linda...(I SO LOVE NYC!) ... couldn't have been a more relaxing day.

The question arises...but why only one day off?  I work very diligently and very hard 5 days a week right one day enough rest?

Well, I slept soundly last night...slept in.  And then spoke with My Energy.

I pulled out the supplies...

I started sorting through what was feasible.  I started designing.  But what else was happening was a very hot NY summer day.  87 degrees and only a double fan to attempt to cool me down.  No air conditioner so far. (That's another story I will pass on for now).

Truth is, it's not going to be cooling down.  I thought of a better way to work in the future.  Get everything pinned, take it to the park, sit in the shade, stitch, stitch, stitch.

After two hours of doing this (pinning and prepping) my tired, hot soul gave out.  I don't want to spend my sixth day hand sewing because, in my studio, the only tools I have are my hands.

I cleared everything and did what I wanted to do most of all.

I rested.
This is what I needed the most.  And so the decision has been made.  A decision that leaves me melancholy.  
I am letting go for this season.
I can not work the sixth day in the summer heat in my room/studio where I do not have the tools that make my trade logical.  I don't have it in me.
I am jumping out.  It's enough of a marathon just doing what I am doing at my job.

The saddest part, and yes, I am deeply sad, is that this what happens when I take on full time work.  It's physical, mental work and I just end up having to give business to run someone else's.
My Spirit is free and this is good.  It is balanced and this is good.  My business is stuck, not good.  My heart is sad, not good, but will pass...all in entrepreneur feels defeated.
Just being honest here folks.
The real question it worth the sacrifice?  I just sold part of my dream for this season and for what?  Well, the good part is that I am truly helping someone out.  Someone who needs my help right now.  I'll do this for 6 more weeks and then...this gal is taking a Well Deserved Vacation.
Then...I'll get back to My Dreams and Visions.
Thus ends the Marathonia series Summer 2012.
I think I'll just stay in bed and have a good cry for a bit.  All will be well but there are tears approaching.


Sunday, May 27, 2012

Marathonia~ Chapter One ~ What Day Is It???

Oh Yes!  Day Five!!!

 Aaaaaaaaah!  Day Five.  A busy day.  A good day. A day filled with comfort foods.

I won't even get too detailed with my "fuel" today but I will say it started with breakfast at my neighborhood diner and ended with a slice of pizza while strolling through Washington Square Park.  (Use your imagination).

Block Party??  But no one brought the beer!

Remember I said I would show you the "custom" version of yesterday's hat...not even finished yet...wait till next week.  But I LOVE how it is coming along.  Barbara has such a nice touch with flowers.
And the day went on.  We blocked, and we sized, and we sold, and we even tidied up the shop.  And after it was ALL done and my co-worker had traveled home, I stayed.

I have made SO MANY FRICKIN HATS!!!!  I have so many more to make.  Tuesday will be My Millinery Day in my own studio but what I really wanted...really needed...was a Chapeau of My Own made in THIS studio...made with ease, simply (proper tools/space!!!).

So on went the Buena Vista Social Club and then:

A very, very tired, very, very satisfied Ms. Carey and Her New Summer Chapeau!!!
All I can say to wrap up Chapter One...

Well Done!!!