Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sometimes...

This is One of Those Times.  I seem to have them often which leads me to think...THIS IS A  HABIT!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................

I will leave "that" thought drifting along side the stream I drift along with.

I am pondering quite a bit...quite a bit.

deep breath.

surrender.

thrive.

push through?

or just be in "It".  Not loving or liking but Being.

Aaaah, You already know this!  If fact, lots of you have told me this.  I have heard "It" in Your Voices.  Some face to face, screen to screen, ear to ear, word to word, link to link...I have heard You.

The voice that I hear the strongest is my own.  As with most folks.  It is the voice of my Spirit rising up like a strong and mighty tree.  It is a voice that makes me sit taller when it speaks.  It is not  screaming loud...no.  It is a soft undertone of wisdom.  It is a voice that reminds me of who I am.  How could  possibly doubt my true self?  It's all of my spirit.  ALL OF ME.

So when this powerful Beloved arises and speaks words that bring me back to center...and if I can possibly hear Myself, if it is my Heart speaking, then I can slide deeply into My Center.

currently sliding.
............................... days later............

Wednesday...

. feeling "pressure" to do DO DO!!!

What UP!!

Oh Henri (Bendel's), you fickle man...is it worth all this DO DO DO!!!  Are you sure???  I am not so sure.  Not at all.  I can fake myself into thinking I am sure...but I am not.  NOT AT ALL!

And then I am stressed!  I mean, phone turned off, bank over drawn (Whaaaaa!?!?), bills in earlier than expected, me still late even if they came when I thought they would...me working FULL TIME!  Me showing up!  Me striving, striving, striving, and ...here's the Good News!

GOOD NEWS!!!!

I am fully desiring to WORK FOR MYSELF!!!  And I am fearful about "the bills"...yet HERE I AM!  Unable to do what I really want to do, which is WORK ON MY COLLECTION, PUT TOGETHER MY PACKAGE, GROW MY BUSINESS...etc.

Instead, I am working this month, 5 days a week (to help out and, I thought, save some money)...but I am not saving any money...I am sinking deeper then when I worked three days!

.... SO... Lesson Learned...it's going to be fine when I am on my own.  I'm not financially any better off working for someone either. 

AND even more important...I NEED TO PASS THIS TEST!!!  SO I can go on to the Next Level!!!

I AM READY!

I AM WILLING!

I AM ABLE!!!!

YES I AM!!!


p.s.


Happy New Season!!!  Happy Spring Time!!!

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