You either have it...or you don't. You can try and eat it or drink it but even doing this...Energy chooses to truly stay with you or not.
Today, Tuesday, May 29th, I had a chat with My Energy. I ate healthy foods, drank heaps of water, moved my body, even had a delicious strong espresso. I asked My Energy to show itself for I had High Hopes this season.
I had hopes of having new chapeaux in a Hair show at a local salon (though I wasn't too attached to this), and even more hopes of having a Hat Show while on Maui during my upcoming trip in July. I wanted to be able to offer to my former homeland the newest styles I have been so diligently working on. Blocked hats. Hats I have never made before in my career and I wanted to give my clientele on Maui this opportunity to see what I have been doing in person.
I took a healthy day OFF for Memorial Day, had a beautiful day in Central Park.
I mean really!!! A Beautiful Day!!!
Enjoyed a lovely lunch with my friend Kim and her poochie, Pookie, had a wonderful stroll along the pond, had a very interesting conversation in the little boathouse with a woman named Linda...(I SO LOVE NYC!) ... couldn't have been a more relaxing day.
The question arises...but why only one day off? I work very diligently and very hard 5 days a week right now...is one day enough rest?
Well, I slept soundly last night...slept in. And then spoke with My Energy.
I pulled out the supplies...
I started sorting through what was feasible. I started designing. But what else was happening was a very hot NY summer day. 87 degrees and only a double fan to attempt to cool me down. No air conditioner so far. (That's another story I will pass on for now).
Truth is, it's not going to be cooling down. I thought of a better way to work in the future. Get everything pinned, take it to the park, sit in the shade, stitch, stitch, stitch.
After two hours of doing this (pinning and prepping) my tired, hot soul gave out. I don't want to spend my sixth day hand sewing because, in my studio, the only tools I have are my hands.
I cleared everything and did what I wanted to do most of all.
This is what I needed the most. And so the decision has been made. A decision that leaves me melancholy.
I am letting go for this season.
I can not work the sixth day in the summer heat in my room/studio where I do not have the tools that make my trade logical. I don't have it in me.
I am jumping out. It's enough of a marathon just doing what I am doing at my job.
The saddest part, and yes, I am deeply sad, is that this what happens when I take on full time work. It's physical, mental work and I just end up having to give up...gulp...my business to run someone else's.
My Spirit is free and this is good. It is balanced and this is good. My business is stuck, not good. My heart is sad, not good, but will pass...all in all...my entrepreneur feels defeated.
Just being honest here folks.
The real question is...is it worth the sacrifice? I just sold part of my dream for this season and for what? Well, the good part is that I am truly helping someone out. Someone who needs my help right now. I'll do this for 6 more weeks and then...this gal is taking a Well Deserved Vacation.
Then...I'll get back to My Dreams and Visions.
Thus ends the Marathonia series Summer 2012.
I think I'll just stay in bed and have a good cry for a bit. All will be well but there are tears approaching.